Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize