dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Randomize
