He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Everclear isn't food dammit
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize