Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize
