I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
