Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Randomize
