My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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