meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I am one with the molecules
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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