all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
4 words: hood of his car
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
