I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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