just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
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i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
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So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
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