seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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