At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
