I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
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