In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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