If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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