I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I am never drinking with the goths again.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
