Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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