I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
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