No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
