I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
