I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
