when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
