Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
