you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
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