Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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