I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
