i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
