Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Randomize
