yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Randomize
