what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Randomize
