They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
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but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
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you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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