ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
