there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
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how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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