I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Randomize
