I wish i was in the wii world.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
