Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize
