If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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