he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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