White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Randomize
