So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
