Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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