I'm so fucking centered right now
Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
