Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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