I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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