I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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