the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
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