No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize