Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
