im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
