no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
