belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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