the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I am one with the molecules
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
