Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Randomize
