So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
it's like iHOP with fire
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
