i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Randomize
