I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Randomize