the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
