and you said cock pushups were impossible
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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