I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
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My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
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The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
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