haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
