i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
i came on her dog
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Randomize
