That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
