I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
