He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Randomize
