I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
