I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Randomize
