How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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