No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize