Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I just found a bag of teeth...
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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