This girl is more easily done than said...
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Randomize
