homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
