and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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