i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Holy shit dude........stairs
True college students do jello shots in the library
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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