did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
