Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Randomize
